Reflecting on the sword

Sword is one of my favourite props. It's not a particularly culturally authentic prop, which is to say that while some Middle Eastern and North African dances do involve swords (or in some of the updated versions, rifles) the way that bellydancers use the sword in the west is not recognisable within the frame of MENA dance.

However, it is a very popular prop, it's flash and impressive, balance feats involving swords have a frisson of danger about them and audiences love that. There is also the advantage, when not attempting to create an accurate representation of a cultural dance, that we have the freedom to play, experiment and express our art however we wish.

Some dancers use weapons to create martial arts based pieces, Morgana is a great example of a dancer who blends her martial arts background with dance on stage.

I have also heard people criticise dancers for not doing this, for not "wielding" the sword "correctly" in their dance for instance. I think this criticism comes from a lack of consideration of what the dancer is trying to say with their dance (or perhaps what the teacher they learned from was trying to say), and I wanted to write a little about how we use weapons in dance, not to represent violence, but to subvert it.

I have martial arts training. I fought competitive, full contact Tae Kwon Do and I've trained in Western swordplay. When I dance with a sword, I'm not a fighter, I am a dancer. I don't hold my sword like a weapon, firstly, because it's not balanced like one, it's balanced to sit on my head, but also because part of the purpose of my dance is to take the sword as a classic symbol of violence, death and brutality, and subvert it as something delicate, graceful, even sensual.

Tech rehearsal for Juno's show in 2009

I've heard reports more recently, mostly from dancers in the USA, that they are being asked not to dance with a sword when booked for a performance, the reason being that it might remind people of the atrocities committed by Dae'sh extremists in the Middle East.

It makes me intensely sad that anyone would connect a beautiful performance with such things and moreso to see another way that terrorism creeps into our everyday lives.

As a counter to this I would suggest that artistic expression, dance, music and particularly the freedom of women to openly participate in the same, are all anathema to these extremists' ideals. Perhaps we are reaching a point where a woman, dancing, in public and subverting the symbol of the scimitar is becoming an act of defiance and ridicule against the perpetrators of violence.

Pushing our limits and the problem with comfortable

A few things have happened recently which got me thinking about comfort zones and learning, potential and achievement.

- I took a workshop with Heather Stants, who teaches very contemporary influenced fusion, a style which I find challenging to the point that I had previously concluded it "wasn't for me".

- A new student told me that she struggled with footwork and stated that she was slow at learning it.

- A prospective student asked if she would be able to perform in future.

When I started bellydance, one of the reasons I chose this particular form was because I believed that I had two left feet. I thought I couldn't handle footwork and I thought that bellydance didn't involve footwork.

I was wrong on both these counts.

It's taken years, but the greatest obstacle has not been my physical capability to move one foot and then the next without tripping over, it has been the mental understanding that it is OK to not get it first time, or second time, or the 50th time...

Dancing in Heather's workshop, I was trying to get my head/body around a combination that was all arms and legs and totally outside my comfort zone. I found myself thinking "this is hard", "I'm not good at this sort of thing", "I'm not getting this".

Then I mentally slapped myself around the face with a wet fish and told myself to sort it out. What I was experiencing wasn't being unable to do something, it was being unable to do something YET, and we have all experienced that with absolutely everything we can now do and take for granted. Every dance step we know, walking, talking, breathing. Not being able to do something does not mean never being able to do it, and it is not a good enough reason to give up.

If it frightens you, do it - Amanda Palmer

Your comfort zone is not where the good stuff happens. If you are comfortable doing something then you already know how to do it, so you aren't learning, you aren't progressing, you aren't growing.

It's OK to be uncomfortable. We live in a privileged world with constant progress towards making our lives easier, more convenient, more comfortable, and I think that sometimes we forget what it means to fight for something, to suffer because we know the reward will be worthwhile. There is not instant gratification for an artist, you have to sweat through the process.

Don't be afraid to get uncomfortable, you are safe. It's OK to be frustrated, it's OK to feel like your brain is overloaded, its OK if your muscles are struggling, if you are out of breath. It's all part of the process, this is what really living feels like.

The vast majority of my beginning students tell me that they are no good with footwork. I'm not sure why this is the case, perhaps it is because so much of the raqs sharqui vocabulary is so alien to those from a Western background, that they have no preconceptions, or take it for granted that it will be a struggle, but the feet? They assume that you either have it or you don't.

I have seen students begin the term falling over their own feet, but in 6-10 weeks, their grapevine, step touch and rocking step is second nature. If you can nail any one of those, you can nail any other step pattern. It's just a question of doing it over and over, slowly until it gets into your body. It will always be hard to start with, it will be automatic by the time you are done. Just don't give up before you get there.

The answer to the potential student's question is yes. You will be able to perform in time, if you put the work in. It may well be a couple of years, and I know that is daunting. When I first started out, I remember reading somewhere on Bhuz that one can expect to be at beginner level for around 2 years. A beginner? For 2 whole years? That seems like a long time when you have been dancing for 2 whole months! Well, time has flown and the more I dance, the more like a beginner I feel, and that's a good thing because it is merely an indicator of the immense amount of amazing dance experiences there are out there for the taking.

I do push my students, I am fairly unapologetic about it too! I won't throw them in the deep end (although I might encourage them to try the water just so they know how it feels), and I won't ask them to do anything they don't have the technical foundation to attempt safely. But I'm definitely not going to let them come back week after week dancing the same old material without testing their boundaries and trying new things. It's my responsibility as a facilitator of their dance journey to give them opportunities to test their limits and grow to meet their personal potential.

Naturally, I have to set the example by trying new styles, techniques and concepts. And when the going gets tough, I'll grit my teeth and get stuck in.

What's in your gig bag?

I'm packing to go to Infusion Emporium at the moment (well, I'm procrastinating packing by writing a blog). It's a bit of a mammoth task because I have to have everything I need for attending workshops, being a bit fancy for the theatre show (by fancy I really mean, "not in sweaty leggings") travelling and staying overnight - Oh and because I love my students I am driving back early on Monday for my Glastonbury classes, so I need everything for that too. But the biggest obstacle is that I also need everything for performing at the Glitterball Shakedown.

When I do a performance, and often if I am teaching a hen party class or suchlike, I take my hallowed gig bag. It's a carry on size suitcase which has literally everything I could ever need in it. I carefully pack it beforehand, and "reset" it afterwards. Some of the contents is changeable, like costumes, props etc, and some of it is consistent.

For this weekend it doesn't make sense to take 2 suitcases, so I am having to decant the bits and bobs I need from my gig bag, into my weekend luggage. It's the little, consistent things that are the trick, because it has taken me a while to refine exactly what I need for any eventuality. Here's some of the stuff I carry around with me:

Hairgrips/bobby pins

I always have 2 packs of these, because the hairgrip pixies steal them at a frightening speed. Anyone who has hairgrips knows about the hairgrip pixies, they will take 80% of your stash every time you look away. Don't Blink.

If you buy in bulk, they just get lost faster, I have tried. So my rule is that I buy small packs, and there must be one in my dresser and 2 in my gig bag, all at least half full.

I carry 2 packs because one will be standard grips and the other heavy duty/wig grips, which can take the strain of pinning hairpieces, rats and bulky accessories.

Minirig

My Minirig is one of my favourite things ever, no exaggeration. It's a speaker about the size of a large mug of tea, which is rechargable and surprisingly loud. Loud enough to teach with, on high gain you can get enough sound to perform with, even outdoors. Not super noisy, but enough. I have a 500W tailgate speaker which is louder, but it's about the same size as my gig bag, and I'm only going to double my luggage if I absolutely have to.



Even if I know my venue has a sound system, it is no trouble at all to carry the Minirig and that means that if there is an issue with sound, I can still teach/perform.

MP3 player

I go absolutely nowhere without my MP3 player. It has *all* my dance music on and specific playlists for particular lessons, moods and performance sets.

Tin of gubbins

Used hairgrips, safety pins (essential for securing costumes and last minute fixes), hairbands. Anything small and vital goes in my tin.

My tin of gubbins, essential kit.

Sewing kit.

This little repair kit came from my local craft shop. It's important to be able to fix  costumes on the go because a loose hook can be the difference between a servicable costume and having nothing to wear, or worse, a costume malfunction! The scissors are also great for trimming lashes.

All the underwear

In case I happen to forget to pack the appropriate underpinnings for the particular costume (Shira has a great article on this), I always carry a pair of black and a pair of fleshtone "invisible" knickers (seamfree, but I like to call them that because I never get tired of saying "I can't find my invisible knickers"), which between them will work for most costumes. I also carry a normal pair because I was raised to be prepared.

I also carry a pair of Capezio dance tights in my bag all the time, and a fleshtone, sleeved bellystocking, both are transferable to almost any costume if need be.

Grooming

Body glitter, travel size hairspray, hairbrush, versatile red lipstick. These are necessities, so they stay in there. Also a spare shake and go wig, because nobody needs a hairmergency.

Eyelashes and glue

I always have a spare pair of eyelashes, just in case. Eyelash glue suffers in the same way as hairgrips. It's small and the pixies steal it. I use latex free eyelash glue, which isn't commonly available, so I buy lots of little bottles and secrete them in handy places (no use buying a large bottle, it dries up). Eyelash glue isn't just for eyelashes, I use a lot of little gems in my makeup and it's useful for wayward wig lace. Having spare glue is essential if any of the cornucopia of stuff stuck to my face comes loose.

Pre-gig war paint photo demonstrating how I might stick stuff on my face...

Health stuff

In case of emergency. Ibuprofen and paracetamol (for headaches or injuries), Tiger Balm and sanitary protection. More often than not I am lending this stuff to other dancers in need!

Wet wipes

Amazing all around for everything. You can wipe down the surface in the dressing room, before or after use. You can wipe the floor dirt off your feet, a smudge of hummus off your costume, take your make up off with them, all sorts of things.

Parking change.

Because there is nothing worse when you have somewhere to get to than finding yourself in a car park with no meter money... in costume.

Flyers and business cards

You never know where a networking opportunity might come up, so I try to keep a stock of class flyers and business cards on hand.

Video camera and tripod

One of the best ways to improve your dance is to video yourself and watch it critically. I do this in practice, but where I can, I try to do it for performances too, because sometimes stuff comes out under pressure. I carry a small video camera and a tabletop tripod for that purpose.

The changables

So all those things are a given, I might need them in most situations. I also have room in my bag for the items that are specific to a gig.

So if I am teaching a burlesque party, I will have half a case full of feather boas, spare gloves, party favours etc.

If I am doing a bellydance performance I have space for 2 complete costumes (providing only one of them is a bulky one) and a cover up, plus shoes, hairpieces etc.

Everyone's essentials are going to be different, and it has evolved over time as I have learned what I can do without and what I wished I had packed.

Dancing for an unresponsive audience.

Performing in public takes serious nerve. And nothing breaks your nerve like an audience who ignores you, doesn't react to your performance or worse, reacts negatively. Today I'd like to explore how this happens, and how not to let it ruin your performance.

Gigs with potentially tough audiences

Some performance venues carry a stronger potential for a tough crowd. It's important to prepare well for these and not rely on the atmosphere to carry the performance. If you are a nervous performer, or struggle not to take the audience reaction too personally, you might want to consider avoiding them.

Promenade performances

A promenade stage is a performance area where the audience is "passing through". It might be a high street, shopping arcade, carnival or fete. Essentially you don't have a captive audience and you may find that the vast majority of people walk past without casting you a second glance.

The unexpected or out of place performance

If people aren't expecting to see dance, they can be a more reluctant audience. It might be a fete, art show, music event or street performance, but if people are there with a purpose other than watching dance, they are liable to be less enthusiastic.

The uncomfortable party

This is a tricky one to predict. Often when a dancer turns up to a party performance, the atmosphere is great, the dancer is welcome and everyone gets in the spirit and has a smashing time. Sometimes it takes a bit more coaxing. Bellydance still suffers a little with the reputation for being a bit risque. There are still times when a dance performance is booked to gently embarrass the guest of honour, and that can be awkward for everyone. On the other hand you might find the guest of honour and organisers really "get" your performance, but other guests are uncomfortable or unpleasant.

Culturally inappropriate

I've heard tales of dancers or groups being booked for "world" or "cultural" events and being poorly received by an audience of authentic Middle Eastern people who don't recognise their own culture in the performance (or do recognise it and don't appreciate how it is represented). This is a matter of communication, preparation and authenticity. If you are dancing a westernised or fusion style then it is important to make that clear, and if you are dancing an authentic Middle Eastern style to an audience who know what they are looking at, it better be rock solid authentic. That means music, costume, movement, the lot. It means no pop music with controversial lyrics, no Turkish in a Greek venue and there's a potential whole other post on all that....

Be prepared for a flat audience

If you are heading off to your local friendly hafla, it doesn't always matter if you are a bit unsure of yourself, because it is a safe space. Most haflas are supportive and fun, and they know what you are facing. You can get away with assuming that the audience will carry you a little. If I am trying out something new, I will always do it in a safe place among other dancers who understand the process, not for the general public.

If you are up for a tougher gig, your set needs to hold up on its own. Think about making it suitable for the occasion. Think about how to catch their eye and hold their attention. Use music that excites you and wear a costume that you feel fabulous, not self-conscious in.

Don't project motives onto your audience

"They didn't like my performance"

"They looked at me disapprovingly"

"They hated me"

I have heard all of these from dancers after a tough performance, but the truth is that you just can't tell what is going on in your audiences' thoughts. On more than one occasion I have had an audience member who sat with their arms folded and apparently scowling, go out of their way to tell me how much they loved my performance.

You don't know how someone's day is going, you can't say that the person who rushed past your stage area glowering wasn't just late for an appointment or hungry, or just had a row with their partner. Let it go.

It is your job to perform and present your art. It is not your job to control how it is received. If you have put the work in to present an appropriate and skilled performance, you have not failed.

Of course some people will react genuinely negatively. You can hear their concerns if you choose, but remember that not all critique is valid or necessary, process it as you will.

Find someone to dance for and focus on them.

In most audiences you will find someone who is into your performance. So dance for them.

Don't make it creepy and actually just dance at them, but know that they are there and they are a reason to keep doing your best.

Sometimes it's a small child who is totally, unabashedly into the music and spectacle. Sometimes it's a couple of tweens who might be put off or embarrassed by more than a fleeting smile in their direction. It might be just that one person who is really enjoying the dance. [It might also be a slightly creepy guy in a grubby mac, ignore him....]

You might have just instigated some major revelation or change in that one person, that makes it worth it. Don't let them down.

Find your intrinsic motivation

Why do you dance? Do you perform solely to gain appreciation and gratitude from your audience? If so, that's OK, but you will need to choose your performance outlets accordingly. What about the other reasons?

Are you trying to share the art and raise awareness of your danceform among the public? Know that not everyone who is inspired or interested by the dance is going to respond with rapture and gushing from the outset. Sometimes you are just planting a seed. Being visible and letting people know that it is possible to dance, to dance with curves, or with age, as a woman, as a man - you are making an impact, even if you can't feel it at the time.

Are you dancing to express yourself? then dance, send out your message to the world. You won't always make waves, but the act of expression remains.

Or perhaps you are dancing because you just love the music, and just love to dance. So keep doing it. Nobody can take that joy away from you, even if you offer it to share, and they choose not to accept.

Just keep dancing.

Or just imagine these guys in place of your actual audience.

Laylet Amar at the Gaia's Union Refugee Crisis Fundraiser in Glastonbury

Glastonbury bellydancers shimmy on for charity

A rare and lovely opportunity arises this week for lovers of music and dance in Glastonbury. So don’t miss your chance to see live Arabic music with not one, but two fabulous dancers - and it’s all for a good cause!

The Laylet Amar Ensemble (Night of Hope) is a collaboration featuring local dancers Oona La Luna and Kash Salem performing alongside musicians Michael Burridge (oud/riq), Elvin Herrick (darbuka/guitar) and Mark Ommadom (darbuka/frame drum). This is a brand new grouping, created especially for this occasion where they will be performing alongside some of Glastonbury’s most popular local performers.

Expect a set of popular Egyptian music, enchanting and lively, to bring balmy Arabian nights to the chill of our Somerset autumn.

To catch their debut performance, and a night of music, song, dance and poetry, come along to the Gaia’s Union Refugee Crisis Fundraiser, in the Glastonbury Assembly rooms, from 8pm on Thursday 29th October. Suggested donation £3.

Laylet Amar in rehearsal this week;
 L-R Mark Ommadom, Oona La Luna, Michael Burridge, Kash Salem, Elvin Herrick. 

No dancer is an island.

Recently I have been up to my ears in all sorts (apologies for the blog absence) and a lot of that has to do with collaborations!

I wrote recently about my ongoing work with Doum Tekka, our resident darbuka player, which, apart from brief work with musicians - like the Miss Bellydance UK competition in 2013-  represents the sum total of my work with others since leaving Juno in Weymouth. All of a sudden I have 2 separate collaborative performances happening in the same week!

Firstly is on Thursday 29th October in the Glastonbury Assembly rooms. Gaia's Union is putting on a night of entertainment from local performers to raise money for Syrian refugees.

Laylet Amar is a collaboration involving local dancer, Oona la Luna, myself, and musicians Mark Ommadom, Elvin Herrick and Michael Burridge. We are doing a set of around 20 minutes including musical favourites. Also performing are a whole bunch of brilliant local bands and performers. If you are local, you should come.

I'm really looking forward to rehearsing with these guys over the next couple of weeks. I've danced to Elvin's fantastic drumming before in training, but otherwise this is the first time I have performed with any of the collective, so it's all very new and exciting!

In contrast, the next collaboration of the week is with my oldest dance peer. We've known each other since before either of us started dancing, and it was witnessing her love of the dance that inspired me to seek out a good teacher after a disastrous first few lessons nearly put me off dance entirely. We train together with Alexis Southall, but actually, we've never performed together before either!

Kitty Kohl and I are dancing together at the Glitterball Shakedown - The Infusion Emporium festival's notorious afterparty. Living on opposite sides of the country has made choreography and rehearsal a bit tricky, but it's looking great  so far and I'm really looking forward to performing in Wolverhampton on November 1st.

Infusion Emporium, guaranteed epic dance times and you can still book in.

Reflecting in the aftermath of Tribalgate

Those who are part of the global Tribal Fusion community, will be well aware of the enormous controversy and upheaval that has been happening in the last week, since the release of this statement, and subsequent responses.

I have been hanging back for a few days, digesting the information and giving those directly affected an opportunity to speak and be heard on the subject. I've never been a part of Tribal Fest (although I would have loved to attend at some point) and I think it is important to hold space and support those at the centre of the turmoil as things were coming to light. The noise to signal ratio in situations like this can become unworkable, especially in this age of social media where everyone has an opinion and a right to publish it.

That said, the whole situation has brought into the spotlight some really important issues and that is what I would like to write about today.

Our safe space.

The bellydance community is an amazing place for women. At its best it is a place where we are free from the pressures of the modern/media ideas of beauty, femininity, fashion or social mores.

It is no coincidence that the first session of my Red Goddess course focusses on Inanna and the shedding of societal expectations and masks in order to dance as our true selves. That's not something I can take credit for conceiving, it is a part of being an artist in the bellydance community.

Within our community, at haflas, festivals etc, we have the freedom to dress as we will, to express ourselves as we will, to be "unladylike" without judgement, to be in our own skin with confidence, to be sensual without inviting sexual objectification, to be primal without inviting disgust. There is so much power and importance in this.

As a teacher I count myself among the guardians of this safe space. Safeguarding the dancers who bestow me with their trust means so much more than keeping their personal details safe and the studio floor clear.

First and foremost it is about having respect for the individuals and their journey. The understanding that dance, for every committed participant, is life altering on some level and scale. It is my responsibility to keep the environment uplifting and positive and to exclude damaging elements. The safety of the bellydance bubble is part of its appeal and one of our community's greatest strengths. Because of this I stand by the teachers who have chosen to remove themselves from Tribal Fest, for the safety of their students and fans.

The male gaze in bellydance

Unless you are completely unfamiliar with bellydance, you will be aware that, contrary to popular myth, it is not a dance of titillation for men. Sure there are times when it is sexy, but as Ava Fleming put it, it is sexy "by accident".

Tribal fusion takes a step further back again, consciously distancing itself from the male gaze and focusing on an almost completely female centred model.

When I perform in public, I usually ignore the men and keep my focus and eye contact for the women and children in the audience, it's about sharing the joy of the dance. But when a performer chooses to dance in public, they understand that they are exposing themselves to the opinions and misunderstandings of that audience, it's something we are aware of and have ways to deal with.

When a dancer performs at a hafla or festival, for an audience of fellow dancers and dance community members, they shouldn't have those elements to worry about. It allows us to be free in our artistry, it also allows beginners to feel safe when they dance with their midriff uncovered for the first time, or tentatively demonstrate months of hard work to an audience for the first time.

There are men in our community, but, for the most part, they are respectful and understanding of the hard work we do and the privilege they have of bearing witness to our heart and soul on stage.

The male allies in our community

While the bellydance world is dominated and managed by women, there are men among us who are important to us and loved by us. Male dancers, teachers, photographers, musicians, DJs, webmasters, event organisers, husbands and boyfriends all have their part to play in our ecosystem.

As the Tribal Fest scandal has unfolded attention has, quite rightly, been focused on the female victims and maintaining the community as a safe space for women. I hesitate to bring this up, because very few feminist discussions are improved by a bout of "what about the men?", but I'm going to say this:

I've seen some amazing responses by male allies in our community over the last few days. Men with integrity and respect for the women they work alongside, coming forward horrified at the breach of trust that has been uncovered, reaffirming their support for the women affected and their commitment to the safety of the community. I am grateful for them.

I am sad that we will now find ourselves second guessing the motives of the men around us, and I am sad that these decent people will be subject to that, as a result of the disgusting behaviour or a couple of individuals.

Strength and conviction

I am so proud by the overwhelming show of strength from the dancers at the centre of this. Many bellydancers have strong convictions about their individual lifestyle and political issues. I might not always agree with every one, but it is good to be surrounded by strong women of substance.

When teachers and traders came out in support of the public statement, they were putting themselves on the line. They will lose income, they could have lost reputation and professional currency coming out against the biggest festival in the Tribal world, but they did what they felt was right.

It sends such an important message to step forward and state "we will not tolerate this".

Solidarity as dancers

In response to this message, for the most part a closing of ranks was witnessed. So many dancers came out in support of those affected.

Sometimes dancers refer to each other as "sisters", I'm not entirely into that for reasons that I might cover another time, but if you wanted to call it sisterhood, I would agree with the sentiment for now because I am finding it almost impossible to put together words that convey the immense power and solidarity I have seen in the past few days.

I have no doubt that our community will bounce back from this blow. We are strong, resourceful, united, and I am inclined to say unbreakable.